All I wanted thsi morning was a fucking bagel.

When they go off, they require you to make an executive decision, and anyone fully capable of making this decision with any sort of logic or reasoning would've already been awake by then. The options are endless: get up, take a shower; snooze for a little while longer; snooze than shower. A few dozen permutations with even more variables to consider. If I sleep can I get breakfast? If I take a shower do I have enough time to dry my hair? Etc.

The first thing I always think of when I wake up is, "Huh? Shit." However, it isn't always shit. It's a variety of explatives, depending on what kind of dream I was having, what time it was, and how long it takes me to remember who I am and what I'm waking up to do. There are different flavour expletives for the different flavour morning I've having but it always happens the same way.

It could be the morning of my Presidential inauguration, I could be pretty, I could be well dressed, I could've dedicated my lifetime to smaller government and an agressive foreign policy (notice in which order my priorities lie). And that morning would come, and my alarm would go off, and I'd go:

"Huh? Cocksucker."

It's just inevitable.

My day started out with our new e-mail not working; however, once I got this fixed realized that our website isn't working. What a way to go.