stuff! things! etc!
i once gave a kangeroo a heart attack by staring at it.

-

2004-09-08

As of now, I have yet to address the attempted impeachment of current (and for-life) Dland President Christopias Spritopher by Hamiltonian, and my supposed promotion from Vice-President to his place. However, after consulting with my legal team (a sexy conglomerate of Arlington campus law students who I paid to hang out with me) as well as my running mates (who have always served to console and comfort me in tough times, who I nurtured and watched grow until they so delightfully filled out my 'Chicks Love Dick' shirt), and the first season DVDs of Nip/Tuck, as well as the baristas of several local coffee joints as well as the members of Ted Leo and the Pharmacists, we are ready to release our statement.

It has always been the policy of Spritopias/Creepatron to inspire a Diaryland full of freedom from oppression except by us and our friends and assorted goons, as well as the promotion of argyle, Starbucks, and Chili's in every possible corner of the world.

However, we will not tolerate our judges legislating from the bench. Hamiltonian's unprecedented decision to rule without consulting the Diaryland House of Representatives or even the Diaryland Senate will not be tolerated.

It was unnecessary to note the elections of Senate and Representative members, as they all ran un-opposed and were appointed previously through a patronage system. However, consult any one of them and you will come to appreciate the good, noble work they have been doing on our behalf to further the Spritopias/Creepatron vision.

Though we would like to see Hamiltonian take this measure up with the Senate or the House of Reps, we feel Paul and Paul (pronounced Pa-Oool, his alternative, slightly more hyperactive alter-ego), the dual representatives from the only Diaryland state outside of the DD (District of Diaryland--much like the District of Columbia only has observers in the Senate, and since not much goes down there isn't much to observe), Paulsylvania, would be hard pressed to consider passing this measure on Hamiltonian's behalf. Trinity Sixty Three, the speaker of the House, feels very similarly. And while in the past we may have used our good looks or sex appeal to coerce rulings from these individuals on our behalf, this time it is (probably) not the case.

While we are extremely displeased by his attempt at a ruling, we feel that burning him with my cigarettes will not be a necessary disciplinary action at this time. The Spritopias/Creepatron team was the choice of the people, and we will not step down nor rearrange ourselves at this illegal whim. At this time we are hoping that Hamiltonian sees the error in his ways, and finds some guidance from Jesus from the Block, otherwise we may have to go a different route.

12:03 a.m. ::
prev :: next