Spritopias/Creepatron 2004

Spritopias is running for President of Diary Land. I have been bribed, coerced, and extorted into being his running mate. Thus, under the banner of the Bendercratic Party, we are launching:

Spritopias/Creepatron 2004

Filling critical posts in our administration will be: Suburban Island as the Barbara Bush/Queen Mother, Betty Already as the First Lady, Paul as President of Paulsyvania, and Donald Rumsfeld as Prime Minister of My Pants. Other tabloid worthy people will be filled into their posts later.

This is the platform of Spritopias/Creepatron 2004

Like John Kerry we enjoy a snazzy flip flop and a wealthy heiress and have plans we refuse to elaborate on the following topics: robosexual rights, reorganizing the calendar to eliminate 28 and 31 day months and rename said months after ourselves, and moving New Years to a better time in the year when a party would be more fun, ridding the alphabet and phonic system of confusing rules and unneeded letters (phonics is not even spelled like it sounds), exempting burning people with cigarettes as a cruel and unusual punishment, a Starbucks on every corner and a Chili�s on every block, parking for SUVs, adding another day to the weekend and the prohibition of Monday, the criminalization of the mullet and (I insist) mandatory genital waxing.

I remind you that when voting for Spritopias/Creepatron you are voting for boobies instead of a pair of boobs (which major party tickets have proven: two boobs do not boobies make)