Boys can smell fear. "Are you sure you're not thinking of bears?"
It is twenty after eleven, do you know where your Emily is?
I do. Mine is at home, anxiously awaiting her date with Creepy McCreeperson (this is obviously his real name; and you might think that since his and mine are so similar, we might be a good pairing. But then again I would have to kill you). You might remember McC from their two (three?) dates a year ago and my now infamous quote: "I knew seeing him was a bad idea, even BEFORE I found out he drew lesbian anime." I think that really says it all.
Anyway, McC messaged her the other day and spontaneously began to reveal things that made even this future-sex-book-author blush (Minella's at 1 am will cause anyone to begin to tell their deepest, most 'how did those words even make it off your lips' secrets). And then asked her out on a date, and because apparently this is the summer of Pity Dates (lonely boys, contact me, I will hook you up for a modest 40% commision) she said yes.
I cannot believe it, tho honestly, I probably would've said yes too (I think me, Emily, and Eileen are the holy trinity of Pity Daters). However, as he is picking her up at midnight, it is my responsibility to stay up until she gets home safely. Also, pick her up if she needs it; and kick him in the balls when appropriate (but really, when ISN'T it appropriate?) So this is what I'm doing tonight. You're looking at it / imagining it:
Leaning on my desk, dozing off, falling off my hand, waking up, staring at my cell phone, lather rinse repeat. I also bought one of my coworkers a cute baby gift because she just found out she was pregnant. I feel like today I am a good person.
I don't think it makes up for the previous consecutive 364 days when I wasn't. But sometimes 20 bucks spent at a Hallmark store and sleep deprivation to make you feel good about yourself is really worth it.
